Nov 20

5 sex toys you may not want to give her this holiday

Just remember creepy toys aren’t limited to the boys. In our search for toys you shouldn’t give as gifts some real weird ones came up for her as well. Sometimes you have to wonder what the toy designers were thinking and sometimes you just think to yourself Oh My Gods, That Goes Where?!

5.) Head O State – Just what Obama needs another box for someone to vote for him. Standing in at 7.5 inches high and 2 inches around this is one way to tell President Obama what he can do for you.

obama-head-o-state

4.) Jackhammer Jesus – Yet another creation from our friends at Divine Interventions. After seeing this toy Master D made some comment about ramming Christianity down your throat and it really make one stop and think how do you like your religion? Not to let you think that they are only making fun of Christianity there are individuals of other faiths and beliefs there to, but on the whole probably not anyone you want to really move you.

jesus-jackhammer

3.) The Pleasure Periscope – Unless you are into medical play you probably haven’t seen inside your partners private parts and in most cases if you have it was very dark but…Where nature fails, the sex toy industry excels. This unique vibrator has a light at one end and mirrors to angle the image of their insides for your viewing pleasure. Probably not something you want to give her early on in the relationship, hell I may have a problem with it is Master D gave it to me and we are together almost 5 years now.

pleasure-periscope

2.) Hello Kitty Vibrator – About Hello Kitty. Kitty’s birthday is 1 November. She was born in suburban London. She weighs the same as 3 apples and likes cute things, candy, stars and goldfish. Baking cookies is Kitty’s forte, but what she enjoys most is eating a slice of Mama’s apple pie! Really do you want an inanimate object that has a full bio and history going down there? At the end of the day that is probably the last place you want to see Hello Kitty no matter how much pleasure the Hello Kitty fanatic claims that Hello Kitty brings.

hello-kitty-vibrator-dildo

1.) Orca – Okay so I am going to just put this disclaimer out there I understand that some people feel it is okay to “luv” your pet and I’m not going to pass any sort of judgment on them that being said it takes a lot to actually turn my stomach but caring deviants in the fake dong industry put their skills to work, in making a dildo modeled after the junk of various animals. If your girl is into this and wants to try it on for size great but ask if your kink is her kink before shelling out the big bucks for this toy otherwise this may be your last holiday together.

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