Nov 26

Review: The Flishlight

That’s right the flishlight, the grand pappy design of male masturbators The outside is a simple grey “flashlight looking” tube and inside it’s a cyberskin orifice for you to fuck. It’s available here in three different styles, please check it out!

So during the Everything To Do With Sex Show I went out and picked up something I had been interested in trying for some time, my very own Flishlight. I say flishlight because I had to buy a knock-off because the makers of the original felt didn’t want an independent review. Makes me wonder why this company doesn’t want someone who isn’t in their back pocket doing a review of the product and I encourage them to contact me to discuss it.

I decided to choose the vaginal opening one as I’m kind of a thick guy and I wasn’t sure the aperture on the ass or the mouth was going to be big enough to handle my girth. The staff for cupid boutique were awesome and helped me find one to put through its paces.

So when I got home I decided for my first date with this toy I would just get myself nice and hard, slide it on and give this thing a ride. That where I learned my first big mistake with this toy, lube is needed… A LOT. She was tighter then my catholic girlfriend on prom night. So the first night was no joy. The second night I decided to try things a little different. I brought it to the dining room, I opened a bottle of wine, lit some candles, had a nice dinner. After all, it gets me in the mood for some luving, so why not right?

After dinner and a movie I took Veronica (yes I named her) up to my bedroom. Now usually if I’m going to play with my joystick I do it in my office at the computer where I can use the internet for its true purpose. I figured I should be free of distractions, so I set the lights low in the bedroom, found a tube of lube and went to work. When lubing up the toy I recommend treating it just like a vaj in real life, take you index and middle finger, cover them in a good coating of lube and give the toy a good finger banging, make sure it’s thoroughly coated on all parts that will come into contact with your manhood. I also found putting some lube on the outside of the cyberskin gave it a wet look and made it feel and look like a wet shaved, cock hungry pussy. When lubed up she slid on like a silk glove (wow that’s an odd image). The sound the toy makes its kinda strange; it is totally not natural sounding I would equate it to a robot pretending to pant by releasing air from a piston. The sensation that you feel is akin to tiny little rows of beads rolling up and down your head and shaft. If you’ve ever been given head by someone with a tongue stud, it feels similar, but increase the number of studs to about 16 and instead of metal it feel more like flesh. I find this rather pleasing and with some stroking it feels great.

Now I found the toy to be much heavier then what I was used to and either I needed to work on that motion more or this toy is a quick way to tennis elbow if used often.

Now after our date cleaning the ‘light’, it’s well, the oddest thing I have ever been a part of in a sex act, and I have done some odd things. When you pull the cyberskin part of the toy out of the housing to clean, it’s the colour of processed chicken and the looks like a genetically engineered leech, engineered by a very perverted scientist. Cleaning its easy, just run water though the top for a while, till all you can feel throughout the toy is water, not lube or cum, then let it dry and use a little cornstarch and it’s good to go.

All in all I would completely recommend this as a solo toy. As a partner toy frankly I don’t see the point, you have to be hard to use this thing so it’s not a warm up toy. I mean sure your partner can use it on you, or you on him, but why not just have sex with your partner?

All and all, it’s not the real thing, but on a lonely night or a horny afternoon with no one home it’ll do the job, do it well and leave you with a good smile.

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